Tanjung Aruuuuu..... :)

26.12.2011

Somewhere in Sabah, 2nd day of chirstmas we're going to beach just to ease up our own mind

Relaxing day aite....& it's fun!

Strolling along the shore..... Ain't it fun rite? Clear sky, just few clouds

Fun around da beach, nice view of the sky. Actually it's just an edit version of sky. The original one, you probably see clear sky with few clouds. Kinda warm and breezy at da beach, especially because it's year end.

Small crab runnin around da beach!!! hahaha

The back of this view, i guess it's hotel or whatever it is....hehehehe

Chillin at the cafe, just for fun since we've stroll along da beach.... Guess what type of drink am holding right there? hehehehe.... BEER! C'mon, just fewww glassesss of beer enough for me to have fun and forget all the problems i've been through. Well at least.....am being a good girl here in Sabah. Teheee...

Away from our loved ones

Merry christmas!

This year christmas, sure is different from other year

Kinda lonely because we're away from home

But the feeling of loneliness can be fight if we stay together and make each other laugh

Oh well, there will always remain spirit of christmas left in our hearts

We're happy and joy to celebrate our birth of Jesus christ :)

Somewhere in 1Borneo :')

Tanjung Aru beach....it was fun though 

Last but not least, hate to know the fact that we miss kuching. Somehow, we're miles away from Kuching and do hope it's just a dream. When i woke up this morning, Christmas day, am still at the same place i was before...SABAH

WE MISS KUCHING & I MISS MY FAMILY :'(

It's for the best

I went away, i guess it's for the best. I guess I can't take it anymore. I thought that the 2nd time we're back together again, things keeps getting better. Anyway, things just passing by and simply gone. He don't deserve my love at all and I know someone else out there are the one for me.



Somehow i will always remember him anyway. He always blame me for leaving him all alone but actually he's the one leaving me 1st without saying anything. How it hurts to be treated that way.

I've nothing to say but hoping and wishing him best of luck. Hope he choose the best, not only for him but for Heidi too.... I'm too young to become a mummy i guess. I've a long way to go.

But i do know that one day i'll prove to him I can live without his love and am stronger than he could ever thought of. Going through all the hard and easy times, do taught me something. I've learn a lot but yea, i know i need to learn more. That's life. From time to time, there's a lot things and experience we're going through.

Just like how we grew up, become taller day by day till it's time to stop. That's life.

Now it's OVER OVER OVER..... :)

Love is just a question

Love is a question. Question to ask urself. What u want and u dont want. Sometimes people misunderstand love as a game cause love ever play games with them.


But this isn't the right way to treat a word call love. Love?


When you broke up with  someone, dont just go and love someone new if it's for the sake of forgetting ur ex! That isn't the right thing to do.

Don't be in a relationship just cause your lonely or single. Be in a relationship when you're ready for it. I know how it feels cause i've made this mistake before. The consequences, I hurt me and him.

It's best for us to enjoy single life and cherish the one who surrounds and love you for who you are. Am i right?

Be ready to let go of someone if you really loves him or her. Cause if you're meant to be, love will find it's way to you again.

♥ LOVE me LOVE you LOVE them LOVE us LOVE everyone ♥ 

Don't make me choose again, L.O.V.E

Am I okay? Or maybe am okay for now. 
Choosing is the hardest part of all. Do i have to choose A or B? Both have pros and cons. Somehow, I don't wanna hurt neither of them. 


What should i do? Am caught in the middle...hmm........

-------(continue)-----

Sprinkle of pixies dust can give a little help

  Ever dream of waking up in a dreamland where everything you ever dream of seems to be come true.

I wish i woke up and end up in a world of a fairy tale. Full of fairies and pixies around me, Would it be very awesome right?

You wish, wish, wish and wish........


Nothing happens anyway....


Instead of WAITING for your dreams came true, lets MAKE our own dreams came true.


What's your dream? Dreams do come true if you make it real n true....


Dont sit back and relax do nothing about it...


Stand up and be yourself....


“You can’t just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream; you’ve got to get out there and make it happen for yourself.” by Diana Ross, American singer & actress

me + my hair ♥

Pretty odds to cut my hair short...once again. When am tired of something, sure i'll do something with my hair. Anything to fix my hair. I supposed to fix my heart anyway.

That's how it goes...in my own perception and opinions.

Back to days when am young, i know nothing bout life and love.

I know it does exist but i don't know am gonna go through these stuff in future or now.

Experience seems to be something i need.

I gotta learn how to FFFLLLYYYY.... haha

Not fly... i need to know n understand myself

I do know ♥ :)

Littlest things in life can be very precious

Appreciate everything in your life

Even if it's just visiting in your life for awhile

Cause everyone appears in your life, means something... ♥ ^^

Stay or Move on?

Stay or move on? Love or hate? Revenge or forgive?


This kind of questions will always appear in everyone's mind, no doubt about this. Some people can answer this and some people don't. For me, it isn't easy as ABC. It takes long time for me to think about this. Feeling that you just can't let go. Especially for someone you love. Letting go takes time. Time is something important to everyone. 


What if you can't answer this question even if it takes ages for you to figure it out. I guess how long it might takes, you just to find the answer within you. There will always an answer to everything. It's up to you to accept it or not. Some people know the answers, but they can't accept it cause it hurts them so much till they can't accept it.


I still remember my 1st love, it's a special feeling that you just can't forget even it only last for awhile. I do admit i really miss those days when me and him together. But deep down within me says, me and him aren't meant to be together. It's just last for awhile. There's a reason why we brought up together and there's a reason why we're not meant to be last forever. It might be heart breaking to leave those past behind. Behind every stories, must have a wonderful and meaningful memories left behind. Even though, how much they hurts you, you know that those hurtful stories can be a lesson in the future for you to keep it within you and learn from it so that you won't repeat the same mistakes. 


Stay if you wanna make yourself hurts or you still have a way to solve the problems. Move on, if you really can't make it or you just enough of all those crazy stories of yours. Love for everyone deserves your love, for it's a precious gift, naturally from God. Hate, no hate, for it's going to destroy yourself and not only you, others too. Don't you get the feelings of someone being hate by everyone even though he or she never have the intention to hurt someone, mentally and physically. Revenge, it's not going to make your world and life a better one, Forgive, forgive others means forgiving yourself. Don't hold grudge on someone for it's not gonna make you happy. Maybe it makes you happy to see other people suffers begging for forgiveness from you since they have hurt you before but then it's useless for you to keep on hating hating and hating. Makes your hormone unstable! 


In the end, I move on, love and forgive!

What goes around, comes back around!! :)

Ever been fooled by someone? Ever been left unsaid by someone? If yes, never give up on what you have. It isn't an ending of your life anyways! You should be proud of yourself because you have gone through an ''experiences'' 




Every ''experiences'' you've gone through. It's worth your future. Learn from experiences. I do learn from my mistakes. My mistakes: put myself in a love trap n dealing with friend that is hypocrites! Somehow, you know they gonna hurt you. And it's easy when someone hurts you, you will end up with a wound and it takes to heal the wound. Remind this to yourself, ''Everybody makes mistakes and learn from mistakes''. Yes, i know, easier said than done. But when you keep reminding yourself this way, you probably will accept whatever happens around your life eventually.




When someone gone from your life, do know that someone better will come in your life one day. And do remember that your best friends and families will always on your back. Just enjoy your life while you still have time to enjoy. Smile as much as you can! :)

(to be continue)

Love me for who i am...

what is love? I don't really know what love means to me. Somehow, everyone knows and feels love before. Be it from urself, your families, your friends & etc.. 


Why do you choose to love them even though you know they are lacking in many ways??


Why do you say i love you even though you know one day you gonna get hurts by someone you love so much??


Why do still love them even though they hate you or don't love you anymore??


Can love fade easily??


Can love remain and stay forever??

Some people says it is a lie. But for me, it isn't a lie. It's just a beautiful lies. No one in this world born without love. Honestly, you love urself right? If not yourself, then God loves you. Right?
Whatever lacks you do have, God still loves and accepts you for who you are. Even if you hate yourself so much, you just can't denied, few people out there loves you. But the most important thing you should know; you gotta love yourself, before you let others love you!

TIPS to boost up and learn how to love yourself:

• Wake up early in the morning with a smile on your faces :)
• Focus more on what happens TODAY, put aside the future & most important your PAST
• Drink a cup of tea or hot milo and sit on the balcony, watch the sun rises (would it be nice to watch this world wakes up with you too) ^^
• Take your time by doing a nice breakfast for yourself (breakfast is important as it gives you energy to start your day; NEVER skip breakfast)
• Choose any lively or bright hues for to wear, anything fun, bright, simple & comfortable!
• Call your besties to go for girl day out
• Pamper yourself with spa, manicure, shopping, hang out (these are the fave stuff girls do love)
• Smile to strangers, even though your not okay on the inside, but smile at others can or maybe brighten up their day even more.
• Say please and thank you (be thankful)
• Look up on quotes how to boost up your confidante. And paste it near your bed, where it's the first thing you read when you wake up. Example, ''i am pretty'' or ''i love myself'' this can make yourself become even more confident with yourself.
• Do a journal or blog of yourself (one of ways to express yourself; learn about yourself)
• Be open, don't be a narrow-minded person. 
• Listen to music ( Example, who says by Selena gomez)
• Sleep early, take good care of yourself, mental and physically
• Don't be afraid your own body, learn about your own body, (love my curves) 
• Take up gym class, dancing class, martial arts or yoga class. (to occupied your times if your not busy, if you're busy, you can take up on weekends)
• Ignore your enemies, they completely wasting their times thinking about you
• Be yourself and listen to your heart
• Let go of your alter ego
• Let go of past, everybody makes mistakes, learn from your mistakes
• Appreciate those who sticks with you during laughter and hard times
• Treasure all the memories you've had with someone you love even though some of it might be painful for you to flashback again. This is called life.
• Nobody's perfect! 

Don't hate or blame yourself just because you're feeling guilty of whatever it is. For life meant to be like a roller coaster! Do have ups and downs. 


It's not an easy steps to love yourself, takes time too. Even for a sec. Smile! :)

My guardian Angel :)

Do you believe in guardian angel? I believe in guardian angel. Each one of us have a guardian angel. Our guardian angel help to protect us everywhere we go. Going through all the hard and easy times, our guardian angel will always protect us. 


The reason why I feel like am protected, cause i know that there will always limit in something i do n what others did to me. :)

I know that am alone with ''someone'' bad but then they never to go beyond something they always do.  Am speechless! I thought of something ''bad'' will happen but it's just something good and memorable memories to remember. Always believe that God will always be on good side. Karma! What goes around comes around! 

Even though my heart ''were'' broken but i know there's a reason why it happens. Why i meet n going through all those hard times but yet i can still laugh and smiles. Somehow underneath the smiles, there's a girl who wants to cry out loud and tell the whole whole she's broken hearted but then it's not worth it. It's just gonna make things worse. Smile.   


But you can't hide it everytime. Sometimes it's okay for us to cry. Because through our tears we learn to let go or let out all our feelings. We just can't keep on hiding all our problems and worries      to long inside our mind and hearts, because it's gonna kill you. Truth and lies, both are dangerous to know. That's how it goes, we called it life. Without truth and lies, who are we today right? Mix up of everything makes up what insides our body, mind and souls.

From day to day...time passed so fast. Still remember when i don't even know who i wanna be and who i really am. I just know my name is this and that and i wanna be this and that. I just know the basic of life. Haha. Then my life starts to get a little more upside down. It starts with S to O to C to I to A to L. SOCIAL life! I learn how to socialize. Few years back when i was such an immature girl, i only know the so called ''basic'' life. Now am not afraid to stand up for my own right. I learn how to say NO and i learn the good and the bad. It isn't easy as ABC to learn this. Have to go through phases of experiences in life. Gotta learn how to be strong. Differentiate what is good and bad in other people via our naked eyes. First impression might be good or bad but don't let it affects you to stop from getting to know people more. That's how it goes. We don't even know what others think about us right? Just that build a trust on friendship and relationship need time. It takes more than that. 


< to be cont >


M kinda sleepy now anyways. LOL. Sweet dreams dears! Am getting ready to go to my dreamland :)

Way past when M still a Good girl part 2

There you go. Once again, trying to messed up with me. Yeah right. You fight back as much as you can saying it isn't your fault. Lies won't go anywhere. The truth will comes out sooner or later. I know you took it but then because you curse as much as you can about my parents just because of this one small matter, you are trying to make it more like a world war, or should i say world war 3! That's why i let go of this matter even though i know your are wrong and i do have the evidence. Instead of fighting and dealing with this, let's be more mature and professional when it comes to settling this kind of situation. So i end choosing where both parties not gonna hurt and settle it silently. NO WORLD WAR PLEASE!! Hurting your own parents is like hurting our own heart TOO.


As time passes by, you text me n confessed. You said that you were wrong and you took it on purpose just because you're jealous of me?? Huh? Am i deaf or what? Why are you so envy of me? Why? You can get everything you want anyway? You own a MINI COPPER or maybe BMW? The latest one if you want, you gonna get it asap! How lucky you are? You have lots of friends surrounds you, then what do you really envy about me?


Lesson we should learn.

• Be contented. Appreciate what you have. Don't regret if it's gone one day, then you starts to blame yourself. Not gonna bring it back to you. It will but it won't be the same.
• Respect someone older than you are. It's one etiquette. 
• .Don't ever hurt someone's feeling on purposed. Remember: KARMA!
• Surrounds yourself with positive vibes. That means, positive thinking, positive attitude! 
• Just live you own life, don't bother about others think of you.
• Be confident!
• Move forward, don't live in your past because it's gonna haunts and ruins your life forever. 
• Learn to let go, forgive n forget n again move on!

I forgive but i think it's best we remain as friends or keep silence between us. Because i know things would not be the same as before again. We can't turn back our time. We can only move forward and start anew. Peace! I forgive you.. :)

Way past when M still a Good girl

I still remember how me and you were best friend before. Then you started to bullied me and fooled me like i'm like a small kid to you. I guess you look down on me because you are way better than i do. You can get what you want. From A-Z. 

As years past, i'm starting to feel regret and upset because i'm wasting my time on someone who don't even care about me instead of treating me like a best friends do. I've one big wish, I want to get far away from you. Stick with you will make myself like a puppy. You treat me like one. Guess what, i'm human just like you too. You always upset for no reason and i don't know why. I always end up crying on my birthday. Just because of you. When i get to know someone and close with them, you start to make a frumpy face and again, upset for no reason. When i get good results, there you go, threw my exam paper on the floor. But still i keep on smiling and treat you nicely. Because i still hoping you can change if i treat u good, and you will do the same too. Actually it's the other way round. You keep on abusing me. Forcing me to do something i don't want. Asking me to help with this and that. Call your friends to find me if i don't wanna go out with you. Why did you do all this to me??

As years past again, you make a mess and stupid mistakes, you let evil control your mind. You stole my belonging. I don't give a damn about it but then this is about trust issue. The one i trust, my best friends, my almost close relative-cousin. What had you done to me? What had you done to yourself? What had you done to your own parents? 

I realize..... (to be continue)

I realize i'm sleepy..hehe :) nites! Oh, morning! It's around 1.30am! Busted! :D

Huh??

Yes or no?

Haha

Drama, lies, complication, betrayer, truth

Simply destroyer 

One after another

Each and every situation can change in the blink of an eye

How?

I don't know

Who cares

I do

OR 

Actually m just pretending 2 care?

Pa benda ku klaka tok eh...ni la syndrome of a girl yg boring gilak2..

SORRY

[ to be continued ]

Please understand...!

I love you

I miz u

Past tense dear!

No more in present..

Ya gotta accept d fact tht m x longer urs anymore

not only tht

u've hurt me

betrayed me

played me

but thts all in d past

what more can i say...

me + u = nothing

even tho it isn't an easy thing to 4get

but time does play its part in my life

the show must goes on 

even tho i knw ho badly i've been hurt

it's a lesson i shud keep in my heart

coz m gonna use it as guide book in d future

before u said u love me and u miz me

then u sudd gave up on me

coz u tot i gv u mix signals

huh?

is it true?

no m not

isn't love takes time to grow

just like how flower grows

it's kinda impossible 4 flower to grow instantly 

even tho fertilizers does exist in this world

to make it even more healthier 

u said i cheated on u n make u as my 2nd one

wat the fuck up??

R u talkin bout me or r u talkin bout urself?

how can u make me trust u if u never trust me from the start..

GILA!

m such a fool tht i fall into ur sweet words

u DAMN sweet talker..

i should hav realized ur real motives on me

at last u put off ur mask and show the real u..

u keep on blaming me for no reason n yea finally u said u wan us 2 b frens only

X more relationship

ok i get it, u've got sooo many things to handle!

somehow u can't handle me..??

obviously ur a jerk asshole

just say u got another girl

instead of sayin i can't handle our-so-called relationship

just admit it u x want me anymore

and m happy to let u go n stop put a hope on u anymore

wat a guy..

and u even point a finger at me saying i talk shit

accused people esp me wit no evidence at all

and now u say sorry

but do u think sorry can change anythg so easily
wake up dear!

sory couldnt change anythg..at all
mayb a bit but

sorry can change anything if action includes in...

not only action..ur willingness to change and admit ur own mistakes

somehow, ur still lying to me anyway

by sayin ur single ''rite now''

single??

m x a fool dear..i got eyes n ears

ur such a pretender

can u just stop pretend in front of me..

sorry to say m x an easy girl where u can go in and out of my life..

TQ

I never meant to say something bad bout u

but if u really want me to do it

YES I CAN

i could fight and seek revenge but thts x who i am

i forgive u n please undrstd tht im tryin to move on

i have to

u don't know how much u've hurt me

i couldn't live like that anymore

oh well, u knw i can live without u

but without my besties and faith in myself

i wouldn't have come this far

i thought i couldn't 4get u

i will cry all nite long

but yes!!

I've made it..

I can prove 2 u how strong m i rite now

strong on the inside n outside

U can break everythg besides u with ur martial arts skill

but u can't never break my heart again..

and i hate the way u blame my frens coz u cant have me

they arent d reasons y i never fall for u

u shud blame on my instinct

my instinct says

u gonna hurt me someday

u gonna leave me alone someday

u gonna played me someday

u gonna lied to me someday

u've done all this

u make me fall for u 

but then m thankful coz u only hav my love n not my soul n my everythg..

And meeting u wasn't an accident i guess

it's a lesson i nd to learn from so tht i can b stronger and i can choose and meet the better one in the future

I understd ur feelings

But will u ever understand my feelings nw and b4

the answer is NO!!

Finally..

i only wish for 1 thing

please UNDERSTAND that

i cant treat u like i was before

i cant never care bout u like i was before

i cant smile at u like i was before

i cant hang around wit u like i was before

i cant joke wit u like i was before

and 

finally

i cant LOVE u like i was before coz my heart stops beating for you

And nothing gonna change coz i wanna move forward..

As life goes on..

Show must goes on..

A real show..

Not a fake one..

I ain't gonna fake my life..

Coz faking is fucking to me!!