It's for the best

I went away, i guess it's for the best. I guess I can't take it anymore. I thought that the 2nd time we're back together again, things keeps getting better. Anyway, things just passing by and simply gone. He don't deserve my love at all and I know someone else out there are the one for me.



Somehow i will always remember him anyway. He always blame me for leaving him all alone but actually he's the one leaving me 1st without saying anything. How it hurts to be treated that way.

I've nothing to say but hoping and wishing him best of luck. Hope he choose the best, not only for him but for Heidi too.... I'm too young to become a mummy i guess. I've a long way to go.

But i do know that one day i'll prove to him I can live without his love and am stronger than he could ever thought of. Going through all the hard and easy times, do taught me something. I've learn a lot but yea, i know i need to learn more. That's life. From time to time, there's a lot things and experience we're going through.

Just like how we grew up, become taller day by day till it's time to stop. That's life.

Now it's OVER OVER OVER..... :)

Please understand...!

I love you

I miz u

Past tense dear!

No more in present..

Ya gotta accept d fact tht m x longer urs anymore

not only tht

u've hurt me

betrayed me

played me

but thts all in d past

what more can i say...

me + u = nothing

even tho it isn't an easy thing to 4get

but time does play its part in my life

the show must goes on 

even tho i knw ho badly i've been hurt

it's a lesson i shud keep in my heart

coz m gonna use it as guide book in d future

before u said u love me and u miz me

then u sudd gave up on me

coz u tot i gv u mix signals

huh?

is it true?

no m not

isn't love takes time to grow

just like how flower grows

it's kinda impossible 4 flower to grow instantly 

even tho fertilizers does exist in this world

to make it even more healthier 

u said i cheated on u n make u as my 2nd one

wat the fuck up??

R u talkin bout me or r u talkin bout urself?

how can u make me trust u if u never trust me from the start..

GILA!

m such a fool tht i fall into ur sweet words

u DAMN sweet talker..

i should hav realized ur real motives on me

at last u put off ur mask and show the real u..

u keep on blaming me for no reason n yea finally u said u wan us 2 b frens only

X more relationship

ok i get it, u've got sooo many things to handle!

somehow u can't handle me..??

obviously ur a jerk asshole

just say u got another girl

instead of sayin i can't handle our-so-called relationship

just admit it u x want me anymore

and m happy to let u go n stop put a hope on u anymore

wat a guy..

and u even point a finger at me saying i talk shit

accused people esp me wit no evidence at all

and now u say sorry

but do u think sorry can change anythg so easily
wake up dear!

sory couldnt change anythg..at all
mayb a bit but

sorry can change anything if action includes in...

not only action..ur willingness to change and admit ur own mistakes

somehow, ur still lying to me anyway

by sayin ur single ''rite now''

single??

m x a fool dear..i got eyes n ears

ur such a pretender

can u just stop pretend in front of me..

sorry to say m x an easy girl where u can go in and out of my life..

TQ

I never meant to say something bad bout u

but if u really want me to do it

YES I CAN

i could fight and seek revenge but thts x who i am

i forgive u n please undrstd tht im tryin to move on

i have to

u don't know how much u've hurt me

i couldn't live like that anymore

oh well, u knw i can live without u

but without my besties and faith in myself

i wouldn't have come this far

i thought i couldn't 4get u

i will cry all nite long

but yes!!

I've made it..

I can prove 2 u how strong m i rite now

strong on the inside n outside

U can break everythg besides u with ur martial arts skill

but u can't never break my heart again..

and i hate the way u blame my frens coz u cant have me

they arent d reasons y i never fall for u

u shud blame on my instinct

my instinct says

u gonna hurt me someday

u gonna leave me alone someday

u gonna played me someday

u gonna lied to me someday

u've done all this

u make me fall for u 

but then m thankful coz u only hav my love n not my soul n my everythg..

And meeting u wasn't an accident i guess

it's a lesson i nd to learn from so tht i can b stronger and i can choose and meet the better one in the future

I understd ur feelings

But will u ever understand my feelings nw and b4

the answer is NO!!

Finally..

i only wish for 1 thing

please UNDERSTAND that

i cant treat u like i was before

i cant never care bout u like i was before

i cant smile at u like i was before

i cant hang around wit u like i was before

i cant joke wit u like i was before

and 

finally

i cant LOVE u like i was before coz my heart stops beating for you

And nothing gonna change coz i wanna move forward..

As life goes on..

Show must goes on..

A real show..

Not a fake one..

I ain't gonna fake my life..

Coz faking is fucking to me!!

Whats happening???

Gosh, whats happening?

I've no idea whats happening..

I dont think i turn into a bad girl..

No I'm not..

I'm still a normal one.. I guess

Somehow m wondering..

I try not to hated to her..

Please I didn't want too..

I don't want the same incident happening to me..

She's almost like the one I knew before..

It's true..

I can't change her..

No one can change her..

Unless she had the will to change herself..

Please I try not to dislike her..

Oh please..

Whats happening?

Any idea?

Dear readers

Is it normal for a girl to control every single thing she did..

Like when she sits, she sits soooo courteously/polite..

I mean EVERYTHING she did seems so CONTROL..

She cant even show the real her..

No this isn't a broadway to ya..

Just be urself..

Does it very hard for her to just be herself?

And act so polite and control in front of everyone else..

Be it when she eats, sits, talks, walks..

She don't even have her own interest..

I don't know how to explain but it's true..

When I want this, she also want the same thing I like..

When I have a crush on this guy, she also had a crush on the same guy..

Gosh, so obvious..

She didn't have the initiative to do things..

Like she rather ate instant noodles and biscuits..

Waiting for me and others to cook dishes and rice for her..argh.

I wish she just be herself and act normal like girls..

Somehow she never did..

She never to have this kinda girl talk before..

Sounds weird huh?
Oh well...


To be continue...